To Whom it May Concern:
I am delighted to see that your company is doing well financially. Enough so that you have the capital available to continually advertise your services to my household, both through direct mailings and by sending someone door-to-door through my neighborhood to spread the good word and leave a flyer on my doorknob. The company must be doing well, since I am surprised when I don’t see at least two adverts arrive in a one-week period. The marketing budget you follow must be grand.
However, despite your apparent current success, I must admit that this is not the best use of the additional income you are accruing. I neither use nor plan to use any of the services you provide, be it telephone, cable television, or broadband internet. Your television advertising stating I can save money over my current setup is completely misguided, as I currently do not pay anything for my broadcast TV setup or free wi-fi connection (you can get them darn near anywhere, nowadays). You may be right about my phone service, but with a cell phone that I can use anywhere to make calls AND send/receive text messages, why would I switch?
So, for my benefit, please do not send any more marketing literature; I will surely not read it, as is usually the case. For the benefit of your company’s bottom line, stop spending the money to send these advertisements that I will not pay any attention to. For the benefit of your current paying customers, stop taking their money in order to fund the distribution of your flyers that I will throw in the recycle bin without taking any note of. For the benefit of the whole planet, stop sending me special offers printed on paper that comes needlessly from felled trees because – if my point hasn’t been made clear enough for you yet – I will not subscribe to your services and I do not care what spectacular deals you have switched up over the past few days to sway me.
Thank you for your consideration,
I sincerely hope that by giving you all my personal information through your email web form, I am not signing up to be inundated further by your incessant advertising. If this is the case, we will definitely have further issues to discuss, most likely moderated by a third party, such as the Better Business Bureau.